WARNING: Drama ahead.
For quite some time now, I can't help but feel stagnant as an artist.
Like I've lost all motivation and inspiration, and I don't know which to blame.
I still feel the need to draw though, since I don't know what else I should and can be if not an artist.
I am also aware that I still have a lot of potential; there's so much room to grow.
But it's like I've stopped growing.
I don't know. Maybe it's just that I'm scared of my own incompetence?
Most people around me are very supportive and they all believe in my talent.
I appreciate all those, don't get me wrong. I still get happy whenever people compliment my works.
But it's like, I feel impatient. Like, I feel that can do better, and yet when I hold
a pencil and stare at the blankness of the paper, I freeze.
I don't have ideas.
Whenever I try and search for inspiration, I only end up being frustrated instead of being inspired.
I think about those people who are so creative, and I'm still here stuck at doing the same things
over again. The same safe things. I want to get out of my comfort zone, but I feel boxed, i feel imprisoned.
I feel like I can't. I'm starting to get scared that I might not be as good as I thought I can be.
I feel like Colin Singleton.
If anyone reading this have read An Abundance of Katherines by John Green, you'll get where I'm coming from
I don't know if this is still an Artist's Block, or something worse.
I just want to stop feeling this way.